Many submissives enter into a BDSM relationship with glorious fantasies or pre-conceived notions of training. Others approach training with great resistance or disdain, confusing their need to be respected and appreciated with their need to submit and give their Dominant what he desires of them.
I see training in the same vane as any other element of a BDSM bond. It is unique to the bond, and it is whatever the Dominant sees as a necessary protocol, ritual, or experience for his girl.
My girl has been trained to know the rituals I use, the protocols I expect, and the ways in which I enjoy a girl. Yet, she is also trained to give herself fully to any new experience and/or challenge I wish to make part of her journey.
Some girls are stubborn. Others are fearful. Still others see training as a humiliating loss of self. These potential barriers must be overcome, and only a strong Dominant can intuitively sense a potential block in his girl.
In order for any training to be effective, a girl must give willingly and completely. She must fall into her Dominant and give up all so she can be shaped and enlightened. And she must love and trust her Dominant in order for her training to become an intimate and treasured part of her fulfillment.
Can a girl be trained by others? Absolutely. Some Dominants will send their girls out to break old habits or learn new behaviors. This is an old order practice, and it is often used to break a girl’s will, rip her down, and then build her up only with the expected behaviors.
I am of a different philosophy. If a girl belongs to me, there is no better person to train her to my liking. If she is intelligent, gifted, independent, and strong, I do not have to “break her” in order to have her conform to my wishes. I do not need to make her “less than” in order to be “more than”.
I need only to know her - completely and intimately - beyond any man in her life. I need to appreciate her hungers, wants, needs, hopes, and fears. I need to know what motivates her, inspires her, and moves her.
And then - I need to reach her - deeply. I need to give her a sense of complete trust and caring, and I need for her to know I see her as an equal but opposite half of a coin. I need her to feel as part of me, and I need for her to feel released, free, joyful, and blissful under my hand.
If she absolutely craves to be everything I wish her to be, there is no limit to what she can learn and the places she can go under my hand.
I love the dance on the fringe of darkness.